It's been a while........

pheww......I just start a new job and need some time to adjust to a new lifestyle. I hope I'll be able to update regularly after this.

The Black Sheep Effect

Wow......this theory is cool.

I always wonder why differs in opinion and critic will lead to negative impression on you in within one group or club. According to this hypothesis, judgments about likeable and unlikeable ingroup members should yield more extreme positive and negative evaluations than judgments about similarly likeable and unlikeable outgroup members.

If I am a member of one political party but at the same time critical about the party image of corruption, there is a high chances that other members will reject and downplay my opinion. Because I make my party look bad, I must be derogated to protect the ingroup overall identity.

I presume, that's why it's hard to change status quo.

handy tools for introvert

Being 73% introvert (as measured by mypersonality.info) surely I demand less social activities compare to my extrovert friends. I can be fine by myself at any Sundays just by reading books or stay in front of computer. It is however deteriorating my social skills. Less human contact mean less time for practicing, sharpening my already lower threshold of social skills. In other word: reciprocal cycle.

It is by human nature the need of social involvement. But it is by my biological nature that I need it not as much as anyone else. So I think some techniques is needed for me to preserve my own nature without effecting my social skills. Paul Ekman's Facial Recognition Training software (http://www.paulekman.com/) might be handy for starter.

in the net, we don't care

Reading harassment words in the internet is a norm. I can find it in any blogs, forums, groups, chat rooms and any medium of internet communication. You name it; internet had been bombarded since the day it was born.

When I read any impolite, disturbing words, sometimes I wonder: Is the words resemble the person who wrote it? Can a person be that rude?

One experiment discover that during face to face interactions, we react differently compare to if the interactions is “virtual”. People tend to be more in control and reason while having an in-person conversation. This is because during face to face, we got a lot of social feedback (facial expression, tone of voice) which tell us when we are on track and off. So we behave more polite. But during online, it lacks the sort of feedback that is badly needed for us to keep on track. Our emotions overrule our judgment. Our amygdala overpowers the prefrontal cortex. We just don't care.

The farthest the better

My wife is set to go for business trip next week. The one thing she is excited more is to meet up with her high school mate who now live in Canberra. So the one-week business trip to Melbourne is going to be extended to two weeks inclusive a trip to Canberra. My wife talks about how long since she and her friend meet each other. There must be lot of things, high school black & white drama to catch up.

Yeah right.

The thing about my wife is that, a year ago she had a friend who live near our house and until she move to Dubai, I can count with my one hand (This is one hand five fingers not even a pair) how many time she went to visit her. She also had one other close friend who until she get married and move out to live with her husband, shares the same fate of depriving visit. I’m waiting for the one remaining close friend to move out from our neighborhood, before I rejoice the victory of my coming theory.

This is the theory of the farthest the better where we tend to seek recognized faces in foreign environment although we doesn’t know the person that well. Let say that you have a neighbor who you never speak with, and one day you see him at a seminar or a party. There is a high chance that you will say hello to him and have a few chat. This is the same guy that you encounter every morning with no smile exchange and because you meet him at distant environment suddenly thing change.

I’m reading Daniel Goleman “Social Intelligence” now. Hope to shed some light on this intriguing question.

Carl Jung

Finally, I have a reason to read Jung book. I got interested to know about extrovert-introvert and he is the one who actually invented the term. No reason to refuse him anymore.

The liberal dilemma

Same sex orientation is not an easy topic to discuss. Some kind of opposition--I'm a closed-minded person. Some kind of championing--I turn my back from religion.

There is no question of semantic religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam denouncing homosexuality. But it is quite evidence that a society that accept homosexuality as stated by Richard Florida in "The Rise of the Creative Class" is an indication of open mind, and creative society in nature.

Then where do a liberal, open minded individuals but pious to his religion are place in a society? Can they handle the contradicting of accepting homosexuality and at the same time embracing their religion? For me, the disagreement is not good for a healthy mind.

A more of important question: Can a person be religious and open-mind, at the same time? If they can, accepting homosexual is not necessary an indication of being open mind and Florida is wrong in his assessment. But if they can’t, then religious people is a social class of lower caste and should be eradicate in place of more, greater social class.

It's all your fault!!!

This afternoon my wife and I had lunch at Nando's One Utama. We love the 1/4 chicken. We love the hot fries. I love the bottomless ice lemon tea. But to our perception the service is poor. There’s nobody to pickup the remaining, dishes from previously occupied table. I count at least 5 tables with leftovers. I saw the supervisor stare at those tables but quickly enter the kitchen. All other waitresses just pass-by the tables like nothing to be done.

What’s going on? This is Nando’s at One Utama. Not some food stalls where rats and cockroaches are their main customers.

At first glance, it’s easier, quicker and no brainier to blame the employees. But this simple minded way of thinking might fall into the trap of correspondence bias. It’s the tendency to explain others’ actions as stemming from dispositions, even in the presence of clear situational causes. In other word, we are inclined to blame a person itself instead of external factors that influence their behavior.

As predicted by psychologist, My wife and I quickly blame the employees as lazy and don’t know how to do their work and we don’t even bothered to consider about any external factor such as they are unmotivated because they don’t receive any salaries for months and etc.

To rectify our thinking, using Kelley’s Theory of Causal Attributions, 1. we knew that this is an exceptional case and distinct from the norms of Nando’s business practices. 2. Also there must be consensus that services are good at other Nando’s places and, 3. this is not the first time we went there and in any other days there was no problem like this. Using this theory, the fault must be external and situational factor, not of the employees.

As we assume it's situational, we don't care anymore. At least it save our time from writing bad remarks on them.

Craving for food

Yesterday I'm craving for meat. Not just meat but well done grill meat. Some said that when you yearn for some specific food, you body need the nutrition from the food. Seriously, I need to check the validity of this assumption. If this true, in the future, I really need to understand what kind of food that my body desire. I must be precise. If my body yearn for ice-cream: it mean I need sugar!!

I always had small quarrel with my wife usually not because each of us want to go to different restaurant but simply we don't know what and where to eat. Well, as at today, I must learn to know my body, know my desire, know myself, and know what my body really want to eat. Some Rogerian Therapy should be helpful. Unleash my inner voice!!!

A new book. A new guilty

Tittle: Why Most Things Fail: Evolution, Extinction and Economics
Author: Paul Ormerod
Genre: Economics, Sociology
Price: USD9

New book for me.

I've been eyeing this book for quite some time. And suddenly came across it at Popular book fair with a discounted price of 50%. Grab it. No question ask.

Buying a new book is not easy for me. So often that when I bring back the new book, older unread books will whispers and bugging me with guilty questions like:"Why don't you read me first?" or "How dare you bought a new one, when you don't even bother to look at me?" or "You are so unfair!!".

I don't want to ignore them. But I have too. I need more time!! I need more time!!

My name is Fayzi. I'm a bookaholic. Please help me!!

I really like the glowing title.

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Autobot in me

Driving for me is fascinating, even in heavy traffic jam by turning on the autobot in me. I heard the autobot in me is called depersonalization, where my conscious mind lost control of the body and somehow I became observer of my own flesh. The best part about losing me in this situation is that I encounter less stress from the traffic jam simply because my mind was wandering somewhere else. The autobot in me is taking over the maneuvering part wherever destination I set to go, while I myself can fantasize, thinking, and analyzing something else.

The bad part is that the autobot in me is so stupid that he cannot handle unpredictability. If let say instead of going home while returning from office, I want to go to a bank or grocery store, it is likely that I will miss the junction to the store and drive straight back home. The autobot in me only know the usual direction, the predictable behavior and eschewed all new information. Somehow he can only access part of memory that he is familiar with. And there is couple of occasions where I almost get myself into an accident while turning the autobot on.

Whaterver it is, I still love the feature. For me, driving became inspiration-trigger moment.

Autobot….transform!!!

What is in her mind?

Last time I saw my 3 years old niece, had me thinking for days. It’s started when someone asked her whether she want to go out with them. After realizing that her mother would not go with her, she decline politely.

She said: “My brother is sleeping; I want to take care of him when he is awake.”

Now this is interesting, is this the type of excuse that adult often used to avoid something? Or is she just imitating? I’m not sure whether young children really have mental capability to construct or to recognize the usage of excuses. Who is going to give me the answer? Piaget? Bandura? Anyone?

My niece.
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A new beginning

My journey had just begun. To whatever end, I'm not sure. But today I found out that there might be room for behaviorism in me. My inclination towards humanism must be the reason I left out, ignored many other theories. I began to realize how in certain situation sometimes remote and isolated, particularly in the area of biological impairment and short-term solution, somehow, humanism had let me down. Behaviorist theory might have greater capability, functionality to assist biological impairment person towards behaving acceptably with society standards. An inborn sex manic can perhaps learn to control his nature with the help of behaviorist learning. And the way Pavlov did with his experimental dog is the fastest way I can think of!!

Can Pavlov defeat my nemesis; teach them to get out from my house?
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